Wolverines lucky to have great fight song

Brian Schick
Schick Happens

Admit it. You have one, too. Everyone has some quirky hobby that they keep hidden from everyone else. C’mon, I know that you like to save Happy Meal toys or collect sugar packets from restaurants or something equally eccentric. If it’ll help, I’ll go first.

I love college fight songs. No, I really love college fight songs. It might have something to do with playing hour after hour of NCAA 2005, with the endless loop of fight songs blaring in the background. But somewhere in my colorful past, I decided it’d be worthwhile to learn the fight songs of all the schools the Big Ten.

But first things first. To me, the fight song is the one thing that gets fans excited for their teams. While each individual fan’s knowledge of his or her squad will vary considerably, each fan can unite celebrating a touchdown with the chorus of the school’s fight song — it’s the ultimate unifier between fans; young and old, students and alumni, casual fans and die hards.

Players may come and go from a school, but the fight song remains constant. In the era of marketing taking precedent over tradition, school logos may change to increase jersey sales (I’m looking at you, Miami). You don’t often hear of a school changing their fight song. One of the things NFL players often require rookies to do is croon their alma mater’s fight song on the first day of training camp.

As you can see, this is something I take pretty seriously. So can I make a public service announcement for a second? I always get annoyed when the Big House crowd boos the band playing the opposing team’s fight song during the pregame introduction. I’m not saying I’m pulling for the opposition, but, as a fan of fight songs, I would at least like to hear it during pregame. Then I’ll boo with you after they score a touchdown. Thanks.

So anyway, with a critical eye, I’ve decided to settle all arguments by ranking the fight songs in the Big Ten. I probably could do all the 117 division 1-A schools (bringing up the rear: Temple), but that might be a little scary. So, without further ado:

No. 11: Penn State
The 11th team to join the Big Ten also brings up the rear with “Fight on State.” When you listen to it, it has no rhythm; the first half has a slow tempo, then suddenly speeds up half way through. And any song that uses old English (“victory we predict for thee”) needs to get the axe.

No. 10: Michigan State
As former Daily sports editor Brady McCollough once said, their fight song sounds like a carnival song. The “Falcone Fight” (what’s up with that title, anyway?) sounds like something you’d hear on the merry-go-round. After numerous discussions with my friends who go to Michigan State, I’ve never gotten a decent answer to what a “vim” is (“Spartan teams are bound to win / they’re fighting with a vim”).

Another gripe I have is that their fight song doesn’t have a chorus — it’s just one long running story about how the Spartans “specialty is winning.” The chorus is a must for fight songs, because who wants to spend two minutes singing the entire fight song after a touchdown? Also, why does it seem that the only word that Spartan fans know from this ballad is “weak” (“see their team is WEAK / we’re going to win this game”)?

No. 9: Minnesota
I’m not from Minnesota, but I have no clue what “Ski-U-Mah” means. It sounds like some lame attempt at an inside joke. Also, I’m not a fan of using cheerleader shouts in fight songs (“rah for the U of M”). It sounds like some lame 1950’s version of a high school cheer. Rah-team, shish-boom-bah! In addition, Minnesota is too long of a name to spell out at the end of “The Minnesota Rouser.”

No. 8: Illinois
Continuing with the “what-the heck-did-they-just-say?” category, Illinois comes in with “Oskee Wow-Wow Illinois.” This might be another thing that every student learns at freshmen orientation in Champaign: (“OK freshmen, you must guard the secret of our fight song with your lives! No one must know it’s just gibberish!”) It’s not all bad; I like the notion of a team “trotting out before you.” Women might be a little upset when the song asks that “every man stand up and yell.”

No. 7: Iowa
The Hawkeyes definitely have the “Boy Scout-approved” fight song of the Big Ten. “On Iowa” not only cheers the team, but also declares why they are the best citizens as well (“Love of family, love of friend / Love of country, too”). Why stop there? Why not pledge allegiance to the flag? Iowa also has the best fight song for New Year’s, too (“Ev’ry loyal son will give / A Rousing toast to you”).

No. 6: Wisconsin
“On Wisconsin” is a great fight song for football, but, for any other sport, Badger fans have to feel pretty stupid (“Run the ball clear down the field / Touchdown sure this time”). “Woo-hoo! We just hit a three-pointer! On Wisconsin! Touchdown … jump shot … umm … ” However, their stupidity aside, no line better captures the drama of football like “plunge right through that line.”

No. 5: Northwestern
People in Evanston are really smart, and their fight song reflects the lack of athletic prowess. “Go U Northwestern” copies Wisconsin with the weaker version of “plunge right through that line” with “break right through that line.” Northwestern always needs to remind fans that they’re still a Big Ten school by encouraging their fans to “spread far the fame of our fair name.”

No. 4: Indiana
Hoosier faithful are one of the seven schools in the Big Ten to declare their allegiance to colors “we will fight for the cream and crimson” (“Yeah, I cheer for Indiana — not for the players, but the COLORS!”). “Our Indiana” shows that Hoosiers all have served their tour of duty in the army (“In a battle, we’re tried and true”). But while they have the record for the most references to their school name (eight times), they get points for using solid SAT words (“Never daunted, we never falter”).

No. 3: Purdue
Michigan isn’t the only school to use “Hail” in their fight song “Hail Purdue” reminds students that they’ve been in West Lafayette too long (“Thus we raise our song anew / of the days we’ve spent with you”). Purdue students don’t love their school, but just like it (“our friendship may she never lack”). But the pace of the song creates a feeling of emotion, but not near the use of Michigan’s “hails.”

No. 2: Ohio State
As much as it pains me to say it, Ohio State does have catchy fight songs. The Buckeyes use two different songs during games, one after a touchdown (“Fight the Team”) and one after an extra point (“Buckeye Battle Cry”). I’ve always had a problem with Ohio State referring to itself as just “Ohio” when that school exists in Athens, Ohio. When the Horseshoe gets rocking, Buckeye fans can nearly “send the Earth reverberating.” The tempo evokes big-time emotion as “the gang’s all here” and might be enough to help the Buckeyes “win that old conference now.”

No. 1: Michigan
C’mon. Did you expect anything less? I mean, I’m from Saline and I was born at University of Michigan hospital. School loyalty aside, “The Victors” is usually battling Notre Dame’s “Victory March” as the best fight song in all the land. It’s catchy, it’s easy to learn and it really gets the blood flowing; the fist punch is the cherry on the top. “Champions of the West” seems a little outdated since Michigan has left the northwest territory. “The Victors” also has the most quotable phrases of any fight song I know: “Victors valiant,” “conqu’ring heroes” and “leaders and the best.”

Despite what it might seem, I have respect for all fight songs, as they all have certain meaning for college fans. But as VH1 has shown us, you can make anything into a list.

Brian Schick will gladly sing any of the above fight songs for you, off tune of course. He can be reached at bschick@umich.edu.